Memoirs of a Hispanic Geisha

Hennesy wishes and White girl dreams – Part 2

bigyanks — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 00:23:09 +0000

This is part 2 of our tale with the twins. So my friend was able to recover from the last date and build a new foundation and score a triple date at a club (by this point we were all 21 now) So we decide let go clubbing to the famous copacabanna. we had table reservations so we were able to skip the line and go right in. As we are greated by our waitress she asks if we want an open tab. I looked over at my friend and I gave him the look and said nah but the girls decided otherwise since “they do it all the time”. Thats a bad ideas easpecially with 6 people sitting at a table. Well let’s just say I had one to many shots of hennesy.
Some highlights of the night included
1. Me losing my cellphone
2. Blowing out candle which resulted in candle wax getting on my face and shirt.
3. Being accused of stealing a cellphone and or purse.
4. Charging $300 dollars on the open tab credit card.
So there was a big argument between us and the waitress who was demanding someone pay for it. I was drunk and my card would have been denied anyway. So a bouncer kindly escorted us off the property. This was pretty much my last hurrah!! As a single man I guess I went out with a bang.
To this day I never put an open tab, karma is a bitch.

Double your pleasure, Double your fun? – Episode 1

bigyanks — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 20:55:24 +0000

This is going to be a 2 parter about the worst double dates (yes i went out with the girls twice) that i have been on.

Date 1: so me and a friend (who introduced himself to the girls) thought it was time to go on a date with them. I’ve never been on a date with decent girl before so i knew a movie and McDonlads wasnt going to cut it. So ask a girl for some restaurant ideas thinking “shes a girl she tell some place cool or classy”. WRONG. I get told to go to some place called Jackson’s Hole. I dont remember exactly which location we went to but this place was like a hole in the wall, the girls were way over dressed we were underdressed. I feel my friend just giving me that look, like i just fucked it up. so we go in eat some food (which was really good) and drink. But i drink one to many beers, where i start to curse and get a lil agitated(i must have been tipsy). After we eat we all walk around for about an hour thinking of something to do. no one was listening to any of my ideas since i already failed with the choice of resteraunt. Needless to say after an hour the girls wanted to go home. As soon as the girls saw a bus stop that would take them home they jumped on it, Unfortunately it wasnt running this late, they were still stuck with the drunken sailor. No these girls were deperate they decide taking a cab is better then walking for another minute . these were the closing comments i got that night from my friend. “Man i took all this time making a foundation and you came like a jackhammer and destryed it”. Little did he know i still had some charm left to make a second date!!!!

I am DOG the double date hunter!!

Happy Valentines Day!

bigyanks — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 18:42:09 +0000

Happy Valentines Day Anna!!!!! love, “Mickey”. (not really)

This was a prank we played on one of our GOOD friends. So me and my friend decided it was time for our friend “Mickey” to profess his love to a girl in our history class whether he knew it or not. So our school was littered with paper hearts all over the placefor valentines day. I take one down and have one of our female friend write a whole love letter. then we have another friend to deliver it during our history class. As the letter is delivered during class we start to crack up with “mickey” not knowing why. When she reads the letter, she shows it to all her friends and we hear an “Awww”. When she get the letter back she turns around to “mickey” and respectfully declines his offer and says that hes a great guy but she doesn’t think of him like that because they barely know each other. The look on his face was priceless.

But i thought we were bros?

bigyanks — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 18:07:17 +0000

Apparently not. back in highschool us “bros” were sitting around and someone got touchy (probably me) and said “i bet were gonna be best friends for while”. Then it came, someone from the group replied “i mean i consider you guys good friends but not best friends”. damn what a blow to the ego!! (and yes the guy proposing was the offender)

How to tell you dated an underage girl.

bigyanks — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 17:22:47 +0000

When she compares you to her vibrating tickle me Elmo, that’s a very big sign. Yup this happened to me back in high school. i was standing on a lunch line with my then girlfriend who had a tickle me elmo with her. So while on line she proceeds to keep making Elmo giggle and vibrate, so her friend turns arounds and says “you enjoying that vibration arent you” and she replies i dont need Elmo when i have Danny.

Introduction

bigyanks — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 03:10:41 +0000

Just writing my intial post as an introduction. This is gonna be a blog about past funny memories that I lived. Wether some of you believe it or not I’m sure it’ll be funny or really pathetic, LOL. Sooo Ala cuisine!!!